I Don't Wish Nobody to Have a Life like Mine: Children of Disappointment

In an interesting chapter about tattoo's while David Chura is learning about different tattoo's the corrections officers believe to be affiliated with gangs he writes "I felt sordid, as thought I was betraying a basic human code..." Tattoo's were something that inmates would always carry with them, basically the only thing that inmates were allowed to carry with them. One of Mr. Chura's students, Eddyberto, was an exceptional artist with a knack for creativity. Eddyberto would give inmates tattoo's inside of prisons, when this knowledge became available to the corrections officers, they informed Mr. Chura that Eddyberto was a threat to national security because of gang affiliations. Eddyberto was removed from the prison and handed to the feds. Chura writes "long after anyone would even remember his name, those men and boys he had tattooed would carry with them wherever they went, and for as long as they lived, the pictures and patterns that he, Pryo (Eddyberto), alchemist and artist, conjured up out of nothing, but smoke and shampoo" (114). Eddyberto was an inspired artist, who wanted to draw and to many gangs did not matter because it was a part of life in or out of jail. This child of disappointment had nothing to carry with him but the tattoos on his own back, that creativity from his own mind. His art was no disappointment to him, but to others it defined him, and he was left again with being a disappointment.
"These young guys were raised on disappointment: nobody ever did what they were supposed to do, nobody ever did what they promised they'd do" (96). Mr. Chura said this to his students after he gave them hope that he could make a suggestion box that would make their hardass corrections officer lighten up. At first when it did not help the boys began to get riled up and upset with each other. One boy in Mr. C's class turned to him and said "We coulda told you nothing ever changes" (96). These boys feel that life will never get better, promises will never be kept, and positive change will never occur because that is how they grew up. They grew up feeling constant disappointment in their family, friends, and community, as well as seeing others view them as constant disappointments. Parents are supposed to be these children's security, but when they fail the security is gone. These children of disappointment just went on to be children that disappoint. After being treated like garbage their whole life, many end up in county lockups, state prisons, or detention centers being treated like garbage once again with no rights and no respect for life. Now many criminals deserve this, but what about the seventeen or eighteen year old who grew up knowing nothing about lying, cheating, drugs, abuse, and disappointment? Did they deserve a life like this? Is it even fair to expect more out of them?

I Don't Wish Nobody to Have a Life like Mine: Ghost Story

"All the guys were opened to constant threats and assaults from all directions. It might be their victim's friends or their family, rival gang members, or their codefendants they turned state's evidence against" (43), that's especially how teenager, Luis felt all the time. Luis had been in and out of lockup, and this time he was going to be back for a long time taking class with Mr. Chura again. While Luis and Mr. C caught up, Luis began to tell him his story. "I'd only gotten there five minutes sooner he'd still be alive. Five minutes" (46). This was the guilt that Luis lived with. Luis was meeting his brother, Felipe, in the Bronx so they could both go in to get haircuts. Luis was running a little late because he had to pick up stuff for his Abuelita's birthday, it was her birthday the day her grandson Felipe was killed. Luis saw commotion in front of their barber shop, but he just figured "somebody was getting the shit beat outta him, somebody's always got beef with somebody else in the Bronx..." (47) When Luis saw a kid run away he got a feeling that his brother was in trouble, so he ran over. As he pushed people out of the way he saw Felipe, bleeding out of his stomach. Felipe's friend Paco told Luis to get out because the Armenian's were looking for him. Luis had no idea who the Armenian's were and he did not care because all he could see was his brother dying right in front of him. He told his baby brother to hang on for his life as he shouted for help. Luis held his brother, talking to him, hoping for any sign for him to be okay. As he did this "the more the dark hues of his own brown skin drained from his face, as though it was his blood hat was seeping out from the four bullet wounds Felipe took in the stomach" (48). Luis held his baby brother as he died, and he could not do anything about it. After Felipe had died Luis's battle was not over. The Armenian's were looking for him to kill him, yet Luis had no idea who the Armenian's were, why they wanted to kill him, and why they killed his brother. As time went on the Armenian's tried to kill his mom, she was hospitalized. The only time his grandma left their house was to attend her grandson's funeral. Luis's family devastated and living in fear because of the Armenian's for reasons unknown, and they were not going to stop until they found Luis and killed him too. Luis moved around with his family to try to protect them all he wanted was for his whole family to feel safe again, but everywhere they went the Armenian's followed them. He was never safe and he would never feel safe again. The police found many weapons in his car and immediately arrested him, and that is why he was in lockup now. Luis was never safe. He was not safe in jail and he would not be safe when he got out of jail. The Armenian's were waiting for him out of prison and he never knew if there was one waiting for him in prison. This fear would follow him around for his whole life, because they would not stop until he died. Now he lives with not only the guilt of his brother dying, but also the fear that was a constant reminder of his dead brother.
Luis cannot ever live a single day in his life, because of the constant fear that he lives in for himself and his family, and for what? He does not even know why the Armenian's are looking for him. So what is Luis to do? He cannot ever keep a job because the Armenian's will find him and Luis will again have to run. He cannot have a life, because he knows that as soon as he settles they will find him and they will kill him. So what are the police doing to protect him and his family? The government? Nothing. There is no protection for these people, these people who did not even do anything wrong. Our government loses hope in people so easily. There is no hope for Luis, when Luis was home he tried to do good by protecting his family and staying clean, yet there was no reward only punishment.

I Don't Wish Nobody to Have a Life like Mine: Pinups

Wade was eighteen years old when in lockup. Mr. Chura had known him before from his previous job, at an alternative high school. Wade loved school, he never missed class, and never caused trouble, but one day Wade missed class. He later on told Mr. C that it was because he had to run from his bus stop. He ran because these kid's cousin and Wade have a problem with each other. Wade saw a gun and ran with his friend Arlene. "Shit-sorry-they coulda killed Arlene. I just ran" (34). These were the issues that Wade dealt with to just go to school. Wade then showed Mr. C pictures of his mom with much pride. It was clear to Mr. C that partying was very important to Wade's mom. He told him that his mom started to shoot up right after her youngest child was born and that "she'd be depressed, then she'd get real wild, out partyin' all night" (36). His mom was not much of a mother, but he still showed off his pictures to Mr. Chura. Wade disappeared soon after his talk with Mr. Chura, he was gone for about three or four years and that is when he showed up again in Mr. Chura's classroom in lockup. Wade had gone to like with his drug addicted aunt. His little sister one time carried the drugs from her aunt's dealer to her aunt. When Wade came home he saw needles everywhere with little kids running around. "I went nuts and smacked her. I had to. She was killin' herself, and those babies" (39). Wade has new pictures of his mom to show Mr. C, and now she was in the hospital, which Mr. C excepted was from AIDS. Wade left to serve five years at a state prison at the ripe age of eighteen. Mr. Chura knew that by the time Wade got out his mom would be dead, then what was Wade to do?
Wade's story, much different than Ray's story. Wade's mom stayed and let Wade witness the pain that drug addiction and depression causes. Wade grew up quickly and had to learn to defend for himself considering he always had to be careful, if he was not always watching then he or a loved one could die at any second. If a young teenager has to live with that fear how are they supposed to go to school, have a job, and interact with their peers in a healthy way? They cannot, which is why so many of our youth ends up like Wade. Wade could not even get on the school bus without have a fear of being killed, therefore he could not go to school. These factors in Wade's life set him up to fail in life, because how does one pursue goals to be successful in life if their goal everyday is to stay alive? And how is this fair? The family who you are born into for the most part defines you so if you are born into a bad family full of failure, abuse, and poverty then how do you not become the same? Is that an individuals responsibility? It should be the government's responsibility to create equal opportunities for everyone to achieve success.

I Don't Wish Anyone to Have a Life like Mine: Prison Birthday

In the four blog posts I have to write, I decided to write about four different stories that David Chura wrote about in I Don't Wish Anybody to Have a Life like Mine. The first story I wanted to write about what called Prison Birthday. The students name was Ray. It was Ray's twenty-first birthday. He came to class very excited about this man who gave him a bag of Oreos, to them this was one of the nicest things a person could do for someone. Ray began to tell his story to Mr. C. Ray never had a father and his mother was constantly messed up on drugs, his childhood was spent moving in and out of different foster homes. After one too many moves, the courts decided he was not fit for a family so he was put in and out of detention centers. He described him in his childhood as "I was afraid a lot because I didn't know what was happening to me" (22). When he was eleven and in a detention center he was raped which lead to depression, drug abuse, and severe mental damage. The summer before Ray was sent to lockup he was living on the streets in an abandon car. This is when things changed for Ray. He father had found him, and now he had a family. As soon as Ray had hope to a good family and a good life, his father left. He was stuck with his aunt who used to lock him in a room with nothing but a small amount of water and a bucket, much like a cell in prison. Eventually his aunt, the only family he had left, kicked him out and put him back on the streets. That's when Ray met a drug dealer who took him in. He treated Ray like family and fed and clothed him. The drug dealer even had a little son named Joey that Ray treated like his little brother. Joey looked up to Ray, but Ray told Joey "You don't want to be like me, little bro. You want to be better than me. I'm nobody" (25). Ray left the house one day to go run errands and when he returned everything and everybody was gone. He said that his family left him because they did not want to get hurt, but Ray said that he still hurt. Ray began to be desperate for money so he could eat, be warm, and live. He started to rob people and stores, that is how he ended up in lockup. Ray knows when his life is going to end, when he gets out, there is nothing left for him to live for. His words to Mr. C were "I just hope God gets a light at the end of the tunnel for people like me. I don't wish nobody to have a life like mine. I don't wish that on nobody" (26).
Ray's story really bothered me. Nobody has a perfect family, nobody. Ray's family exceptionally imperfect. His family failed him, and because of that he was put into foster care, but then foster care fails him? Our government fails to protect our kids? And that is the kid's fault? This is the start of the issue. Our government just gives up on our kids. Foster families failed to meet his needs, so the government decides to put him into a detention center, they are handing him failure. Of course these kids are not going to succeed or be a value in community because they government is preventing them from doing so. If the government did not fail underprivileged young people then many issues in education, crime, and the econmic state of the country would be solved. There is no second chance for these kids. They are bound to fail, because if they have no support from their family or government, no proper school to attend, no money, and no place to stay then how are they supposed to be a successful part of our country? If a child grows up with their parents and everyone around them doing drugs then how are they supposed to not? There are always exceptions, occasionally there will be one strong person who can break away from this life style, but what about all the people that cannot? Do they not deserve to be happy and to succeed in life?

I Don't With Nobody to Have a Life like Mine: Initial Thoughts

David Churra writes "Over the years more than one student has described to me what it felt like to hold a friend or older brother as he slowly bled to death from a gunshot or knife wound, and to feel the warm blood seep down through his jeans into his own skin" (21). If even just one student described this to him, that is an issue. Nobody should have to do that, nobody should have a life like that. The first two chapters of I Don't Wish Nobody to Have a Life like Mine, gave an introduction to the stories of children in adult lockups. The stories are told from the view point of David Chura, the author of the book who spent forty years working with teenagers. Many of those years were spent teaching young adults in adult lockups. Chura listened to the stories of his students lives. In the first two chapters it explained how the prison was run and the interactions between the corrections officers, teachers, nurses, prisoners, etc. After Chura describes some of the stories his students told him and how that has effected them to be where they are today, and where they will be in the future.
From the beginning the warden, Warden Clooney referred to the prisoners as "human garbage." Warden Clooney made it very clear that the civilian people, the people who assisted the prisoners such as nurses and teachers, were a waste of time and that they got in his way. While Warden Clooney is speaking to the civilians at orientation he says "In all the years I been in the Department of Corrections, I've never seen anybody 'corrected,' not a goddamn one." (4) Whether it was being a corrections officer for so long, putting his life in danger, or the tiredness of his age Warden Clooney had no hope in anyone. He has no respect for the lives on the prisoners. This seemed to bother Chura. Chura was in the prison working with adolescents in order to help them as much as possible. He believe in them and the importance of education. While Clooney gave up Chura still believed in the kids. Chura could see that almost everyone else in these kid's lives had given up on them, and now so have the corrections officers, they viewed them as their life being over there was no second chance, no hope. Mr. Chura gave them that hope and that second chance to go to school. He was interested in making these adolescents a valuable part of society, where people like Warden Clooney did not care because he thought that even if they do get out of prison it does not matter because they will be back. And many times they did come back, but maybe all they needed was for someone to believe in them that they could succeed. Almost every single one of these students were set up for failure, whether it was an abusive mother, no family at all, or drug exposure from the day they were born, they did not have good conditions growing up. So if one is almost set up to fail, with no support how do they manage to succeed?

Abortion

After looking at both sides of the argument, I am still left wondering why this is even an argument. The pro-choice website is all about the terrible things that the pro-life activists are making women go through in order to have the right to choose while the pro-life website is all about the terrible things that doctors do to "unborn babies". While I do agree that third week trimester abortions are dangerous, inhuman, and should be outlawed, I believe that anything before that is simply a women's right to choose and that is it. I believe that the pro-life side of the argument is winning the debate because of the emotional toll they put on women. They make women feel guilty about having the right to make choices over their own body. The pro-choice website provides options to stop unwanted pregnancy in the first place, which is the root of the problem. If every female had access to affordable birth control then the number of unwanted pregnancies would go down, thus the number of abortions would be decreased. If abortion becomes outlawed it will not solve the problem it would rather create women seeking abortions in more dangerous ways. It is simply a women's right to choose.
I do not believe that the parents need to be notified of an abortion when their child is under the age of 18, unless the child is in serious danger. I believe that parent notification will scare children into taking rash decisions to dispose of their fetus, thus putting them in harms way. If their is parent notification then they still should not have the right to consent to it, because no one should have to tell a women that they must have a baby. I also do not believe that father should be notified or allowed consent. The father is not the one having the child, they are not the ones to go through nine months of physical and emotional pain. I believe that as soon as we allow men to make choices about women's body's and give them that control, all of the work that women have gone through to achieve equal rights are no longer there. Ultimately it should be left up to the woman seeking the abortion because it is simply her choice, it is clearly a difficult choice that takes an emotional toll but the choice only involved herself. If our government takes about women's right to choice they are instantly putting us below men and controlling us, therefore the woman getting the abortion should be the only one that has to consent.
Illinois abortion laws I believe are reasonable except for the mandated consent law from parents and spouses. As stated before, it is a woman's right to choose, it is not her parents or spouses but simply hers. Illinois also makes abortion expensive to some people, which is very contradicting. Many women choose to not have their unplanned pregnancy due to affordability but creating abortion to be so expensive leaves women out of safe and secure options. I also do not agree with the idea of not being allowed an abortion after just 12 weeks, 12 weeks is still very early in the pregnancy. Many women do not find out that they are pregnant until 6 or 7 weeks into so only have 6 weeks to think about options is not a lot of time. I agree with Illinois providing abortion where it is necessary, such as low income woman. There are still restrictions on woman seeking abortions that should not be there, but for not woman can still have an abortion. These restrictions are created by pro-life activists and are used to scare woman out of abortion, so I do not see these activists as being pro-life. They do not think about the lives of women and how it is damaging them, they are really only thinking about having control over others.

Death Penalty #3

The stages leading up to the death penalty can guarantee that no innocent person will be executed, but the problem is, is that it can be but is not. The court appoints an attorney if the defendant cannot afford one, this allows for everyone to have representation during their trail. This is very fair and creates a lesser chance of executing the innocent, but after they are proven guilty, "the constitution does not require that a defendant be provided with a lawyer representing him throughout the appeal process" (deathpenaltycurriculum.org), because the Constitution does not require this then many defendants do not get the opportunity to prove their innocence or get justice. The courts that are set up for appeal for death penalty cases help protect the innocent from being convicted, but only those who can afford it. This creates a problem with executing more innocent poor people than wealthier people. This creates the stages leading up to the death penalty to not guarantee innocence at all, rather it creates a separation of executions according to socioeconomic status.

The most human method of execution is lethal injection. No other method of execution should be allowed, it is cruel and unusual punishment. I do not know if I agree with the death penalty, but I do believe the process to be as painless and as smooth as possible. While there are flaws to every method, death by lethal injection is the least painless and appears to have the last room for error. I do believe though that the injection should be given by a qualified doctor to increase the success rate. All of the other forms of execution are forms of torture, and that is cruel and unusual punishment for our government to support the torture of a prisoner. The method of death by firring squad, hanging, electric chair, gas chamber, are not guaranteed to be a quick and painless death and the result of error is much more torturous than the government should be allowed because it causes them excruciating pain where lethal injection puts the prisoner to sleep.

While looking at the state by state data there was defiantly a trend in deaths and number of death row inmates according the regions. The southern part of America has many more executions than anywhere else. I think this is an issue that needs to be looked at seriously because having the government sentence someone to die should not be used for any other purpose than to get justice. I believe that some of these states may be abusing their power. Many states in the northern east part of our country do not even have the death penalty and if they do their number of executions is very low. The other thing I noticed was that the number of black people executed in the south is much higher than the number of white people executed in the south, where everywhere else in the country the number is much more even.

The current information about the death penalty today still leaves me unsure about it. I think there are many flaws and when dealing with someone else's life these flaws are not okay. I believe the idea of the death penalty is reasonable, that under certain circumstances it is the best way to achieve justice. I believe the representation for inmates on death row needs to be better or at least there, defendants that appear to be sentenced to death due to racial motivation need to be looked at closer even without an appeal, states should have a limit on the number of deaths, and lethal injection should be the only method for death. If the death penalty was a better system and was taken as seriously as it is by all states and all people then it could be used as a good method to achieve justice.